Groggy day

Slept around 3:30am last night, fell asleep half way reading journals.

Woke up around 1pm, feeling kinda groggy.

Then, fell asleep around 3:30pm till almost 5pm. -.- 

Feeling even more groggy. Zzz...

Then.........fell asleep AGAIN around 7pm+ till 8pm+.....

And, I AM STILL GROGGY. Meh. -.-

Feeling kinda demotivated with my studies. 

I don't know why and I know I'm not supposed to have this thought. 

Uhhmm.

Today whole day trying to concentrate on my work. 

Got no idea why I couldn't really focus at all.

Sitting in front lappie, open all files, read for N times also don't understand it.

Gahhhh. Seriously don't know what am I doing. T_T..

I guess it's time I shall prioritize my sleep first, then only work? 

Right? Right.

If only I can do so. -.-

But... But... But...

Like today, it seems that sleeping whole day long didn't really work for me...

Hmm, I guess it's not the matter of quantity, but quality.

I really need some peaceful sleep. =]

Oh ya....
Been reading Dayre recently, and this make me thought of creating an account too. 

 Should I? Hmmm...

Maybe I should. =]

I'm still feeling very groggy now.
I am sleepy. Very sleeeeepy.
ZzZZzZ.. T_________T..

Okay... I shall stop now and continue with my work.
Long long night for me again.
I hope I can focus... Keep fighting...
P/S: Uhh, Mr.Cough has been with me for me past 1 month+. Please stay far far away from me......  

Uhmm. Babaiiii.
Take care.

Nights people.

再难熬的，都会过的。
不要放弃！加油！

Love it or hate it - Rats Brain

Arghhhh. Damn stressed. 

Quiz tomorrow. About? About? About? 

Bet you can't guess it. 

Rats Brain. 

See, told you, you won't be able to guess it correctly.

My sis asked: Why print out the same thing for so many pages?

I answered: Now you know why I so stress. It looks so similar, but in fact it's different!

Been memorizing all those parts since this Wednesday. 

The more I try to memorize, the more I got confused. 

Seriously. Ughhhh.

Had a sample of the quiz in Tutorial class this Thursday. 

Surprisingly, I manage to answer all of it correctly. 

Happy? Yes, of course I'm happy. 

I told myself, I'm just lucky to get it right.

Uhmm well, maybe.... My hard work seems paid off. 

I spent whole freaking day from morning till night just to memorize 16 slides of the 4cm rats brain. 

No joking. 16 slides ONLY to me is like reading 1 whole textbook. -.-

Yes, it might sounds a bit too over. 

But hey. I AM NOT A BIOLOGY STUDENT LA.

And my Science sucks anyway.

Whyyyyyyyyyy?

I don't understand why Psychology students need to take this subject.

T______________T..

So, you might think, why am I still so stress on it then? Since I've memorize all of it dy.

Yea, I wish so.

2 days ago, I just found out that we also have to memorize the "uploaded text-book" in e-learn. 

Then I was like.................... GG. 

Stress level elevate on the spot.

So, my original plan screw dy la of course.

My initial plan was to revise again the 16 slides of rats brain, do some correction for my thesis, read History textbook (Imma sucks at History also T_T) and so on....

Then now it become fully occupied by the "left-over rats brain info".

T_________T..

I hate when my plan didn't follow accordingly as what I've planned. :(

So, very obvious. This also means that my sleeping time back to abnormal again. 

Sleep with textbook and notes again.

Fall asleep unconsciously and even alarm can't wake me up.

My alarm snooze for like 2 hours also I can still sleep like a dead pig.

Honestly, people come and rob me also I don't know I guess. 

Zzzzz.

There's an internship fair tomorrow at Uni. 

I'm still not so sure where am I going to work at.

What type of job should I choose?

When I'm stress, I don't talk much.

Love it or hate it.

Dear rats brain, I really really really love you.

Please love me back.  

STRESS. HECTIC. EXHAUSTED.

Guess I should give myself a short break. So, I am here to update my blog. Slept for like 10 hours peacefully without thinking about assignments. Like finally, yayy. A superb-rare-moment which I choose to sacrifice my work and just go sleep. The normal stubborn me, die die also I'll do my work first then only sleep. =/

Uhmm, thanks to Mr.Headache. Couldn't concentrate on my work at all when he came visit me last night. Getting worse these days. And I bet this will continue till year end. Ughh. T_T..

Feeling so lazy today. Like literally just don't feel like doing anything. Don't even feel like using my laptop at all. But too bad, work is still work. NEVER ending work. T_____T..

So, how's my past 1 month? Well, no need I further elaborate, you can see it clearly on my blog title.. First word. STRESS. Second word. HECTIC. Third word. EXHAUSTED. It has been a very very very stressful and exhausted month. Literally feel like wanna kill myself so badly. =/

• First of all, one particular assignment, we need to change topic for 5 freaking times. Used like almost a month to do research and of course approved by lecturers. So, what we need to do at that moment is just practice for our presentation which will held on the 5th week. Then, out of the sudden while having meeting, they told us the topic that we've been doing is wrong.... We were like....WHAT? -.- So, obviously we lose, and yea, we have to redo and make us stress like mad for the past 1 week.

.........As though like we have plenty time on doing research. FML. Nevermind, told myself, it's OKAY.

Took this after presentation. :)

My awesome team mates. We work together. Stress together. Play together. Last minute change of topics almost killed all of us. At times we feel like giving up, but still, we manage to get out work done within a week which we supposed to have a month to complete it. It prove that problems does not kill us, instead if make us grow stronger. Wanna say million of thanks to everyone who help us out, giving us positive encouragement, support and also prayers. Feeling really blessed. :)

• Secondly, as you know, I'm in my final year now, means I'm having my final year project a.k.a thesis. Really having tough time in doing thesis. Because......blah..blah..blah.. Been struggling earlier as this was my 5th topic, like finally decided. Seriously, what's wrong with me this semester, nothing seems to go smoothly. T_____T.. Anyway, sent my Research Ethics to my supervisor, waiting feedback. If something went wrong, means I need to redo, again. *Finger-cross* =/

• Thirdly, exam timetable was out. Like finally, this year only taking 3 subjects + 1 thesis, thought we could have a better exam timetable and more time for us to prepare our finals. But, faster say congrats to me first....... Really "lucky" me, we'll be having 3 exams in a week. Like what the........ We have 2 weeks exam period. But whyyyy... Whyyy give us 3 subjects in a week?? T_____T.. 

#Means I'm dying soon in dividing my studying time. Stress....Sad....Pressure.....

Sighhh. It's the 6th week tomorrow. I wonder what have I been studying for the past 5 weeks? Nothing seems to go into my brain. Those memories that I could remember is I've been burning midnight oil in doing/changing/rushing assignments. Having a really bad headache sometimes cause my sleeping time went upside down. Those pressure and stress keep hitting me.....

I have to admit due to all those stress and pressure, it affects my emotions as well. Sometimes, I just couldn't control my emotions like how I used to. I can become really passive and emo.. Somehow, my mood will went a bit off. Actually, most of the time I angry at myself. Hmm, don't ask me why. Feeling useless somehow. Hmm, I feel like I couldn't go through it. T____T..

I'm trying to control myself, not for the sake to have a better control on my own emotions, but also for the sake of having a better mental health. My health doesn't seems to be as good as last time. I don't usually have headache, but now.....I'm having it quite often which doesn't makes me feel good. :(

Though it was really difficult for me to go through for the past 1 month. Like seriously, been struggling.... Feeling really lost *as usual -.-*. Feeling tired, stress and pressure with all those workload. And still, I know there's still a long way to go. Sighhh. Anyway, still, I wanna say thank you to those who always be with me all the time; family and friends. Not to be forgotten, dear God who is always here for me too. He will NEVER leave me alone. Never. :)

"If you feel like you can't go anymore just pray. God is listening and everything will be okay in HIS perfect timing."

To my family, especially my mom. She's the most caring and loving person in the world. She loves me more than herself. She willing to sacrifice her time for me / us. No matter how tired she is, she's always readily for us all the time, giving in her best and taking care of me like a princess. She's been pampering me a lot recently, especially with FOOD. Lol. Bring me here and there. Although sometimes I feel really lazy and tired to go out, but I pray to Him so that I could spent some of my time with family, and at the same time manage to finish up my work. I have to admit, it wasn't easy to balance my time between my work and family, but I know God will always make things work for me. Have faith. :)

My house is full with FOOD. Here's just part of it, too lazy to arrange all those food. Lol. When there's war, I guess I won't get hungry. Lol. =]

To all my friends. Thanks for all your support. Thanks for always being with me when I'm feeling really really stressed out. Thanks for all those time and advises you guys gave me. Thanks for all the tolerance as I know my work is not the best piece of work. Thanks for helping me out in my work as I'm always lost. Really really appreciate a lot. Thank you so much. :)

Been receiving different gifts from my Uni mates. Thanks for all these gifts. Feeling really blessed. :) 

First pic on the left: Pressie from Lyssa, Thailand. 

Second pic on the left: Chocolates, fridge magnets, sweets, tortoise and shoes key chain from different countries. Thanks Mama Kek, Elephant and mates.

Pic on the right: From Sosopo! Shin Chan and elephant key chain from Thailand! Hehehe. :)

So, the most recent pic we took, just yesterday while having LD discussion at Uni. :)

Oh, I called it as JAMBU day. Lol. *Thanks mom *

To my daughter. Thanks for spending your time in helping me to correct my bad English. Lol. Thanks for accompanying me throughout those good and bad times. Thanks for buying me food to make me happy. Thanks for all those positive messages you send me. Thanks for offering to be the driver as you know I'm always lack of sleep. Appreciate a lot on what you've did. Thanks for everything. :)

Thank you Dirty Dinooo. :)

Another day gone. Time flies. Feeling really tired recently. A lot of pressure in my studies. So afraid that I couldn't go through it. Hmm, still trying to find a way for myself to release out my stress and pressure. Still, I couldn't figure out how to help myself. I can help others, why can't I help myself? T_____T..

Anyway, thanks for those who's willing to spent their time talking to me, it does help me to feel better. Thank you. :)

With Honey yesterday. A short meet up with her. Thanks for the time. :)

It has been a very challenging sem for me. Nothing seems to go smoothly. Whatever things I do, surely there's something blocking me from doing it..... And this increase my stress level. T_____T.. But at least, today is a good day for me. A very relaxing Sunday.. I get to stay at home and chill...

How I wish I could do this everyday? I wish.

Stress.. Pressure.. Exhausted..

I really wanna take a short break for myself....

How long can I actually hold on?

I don't know.

Year 2 Sem 2 - KL Sentral

Promised to update on my Penang Trip #3, and yes, I still remember. But this post wasn't regarding that, I'll update it in some time later. Lol. And so, this post I gonna update a lil bit of my new semester life. Year 2 semester 2. :)

This is the 2nd week of my new sem and 3rd week is coming soon. Time flies. Hmm, as usual, once classes commenced, my life will be upside down. I'm trying not to put too much pressure and stress towards myself this round. I try to be positive and cheerful as I can, and hopefully my stress won't stress others out. *Trying really hard* ><".. But so far, I think I'm still doing good. I think? =/

Feeling really tired sometimes. Another challenging semester for me. Dealing with group work killed me. And those assignments which needed me to talk/express myself is another issues I need to deal with. Ummm... =/

Last semester is a nightmare because of those presentations. But somehow, the feedback I get from lecturers and friends were so different from what I thought of. They said I'm good/fine when giving presentation, I doesn't look nervous and have frequent eye contact. -.-

And my reaction was like....... O.O?? Are you sure? Having presentations make me sleepless night. I was so NERVOUS till I don't know what am I presenting. -.-

Don't worry, I'm fine. I mean I'm still doing good, currently. Still able to handle it. =]

____________________________________________________________

Anyway, went to KL Sentral this Friday with my Mama a.k.a Kek Jin to interview a psychotherapist as one of my assignment requirement. First time taking public transport alone going to a place which I got no idea where it is; and it was very scary. Since few years back incident, I'm now phobia with public transport, feeling so insecure. Lol. Special thanks to those who SMS-es and call me to check whether did I manage to arrived the place safely. What to do, thanks to my inborn blur-ness. XD

 Love you all! :)

Done with first interview. 2 more to go.

Feeling really blessed to have family and friends who cares about me so so so much. :)

Since Mama wanted to eat Indian food. 

So we came to this Indian restaurant. 

We ordered 1 set of Banana Chicken Leaf Rice and share. :)

Noticed the red circle. The first spoon I took. =]

Mama warned and said: Don't tell me you only eat this, I gonna tell your daughter then you know. 

Me: LOL -.-

And yes, I ate more than this. =P

Err, I forgot the name. ><"..

It taste like Curry-puff. =]

Mama and I while waiting them to give us sign the consent form. :)

I know He is always there for me all the time. Though I can't see, but yet I can feel the support and encouragement He gave me. Whenever I feel like giving up, I pray for His guidance and strength. When I feel helpless, I pray for his wisdom so that I can make the correct decision. Always have faith in Him. Pray and trust in God. :)

Those who always be with me. Thanks for those encouragement too! :)

Hang on..
I'm not alone.
I'm fine.

Life still goes on. :)

Always believe in yourself even when others don't

Not to be forgotten, always have faith in Him too. :)

Oh yea, 2 more days before new semester starts. And I'm not excited to start class at all, except meeting up all my friends. Phobia of studying now, like seriously. Lol. =/

Btw, results were out just now. I wasn't excited to know my results at all as I knew my results surely KO this round. I AM VERY SURE. I expect nothing cause my coursework marks screw to the max and I think I'm not hardworking enough. So yea... =/

Few weeks back when my auntie came and asked about my studies. *Fyi, my auntie is my 2nd mum, lol.* Most of the time I was scared of her, but of course I know, this is the way she cares me. :)

Auntie: How was studies? Is everything okay? Blahh blahh...
Me: Err, not so good.
Auntie: Why? Subject very tough?
Me: Err, yea. Some subjects I'm struggling since the first class. I score badly on my coursework. Don't even know how am I going to survive for finals...
Auntie: It's fine, just do your best and pass all papers.

Hmmm, so, my results........ SO-SO this round. I don't know whether should I be happy or sad now. On the happy side, I pass all the subjects; on the sad side, I didn't did well this round. But still, I'm thankful cause I manage to PASS all subjects. At least no RESIT. *touch wood* Thank god for this. Phewww. =/

Those paper which I cannot understand a single thing yet I score higher than those papers which I think it's easier. -.- LOL. What a joke. The only paper I think I can score, yet, I skip the most important chapter, which consist of 40 marks. FML. The most funny thing is the worst coursework mark ever I got, I score the highest in my exams. But then, coursework marks pull me down a grade. Ughh. Whatever.

Still, I need to thanks those who help me out when I met difficulties. Thanks for the guidance. Without them, I don't think I can survive. Lol. Million thanks. Not to be forgotten, God who always stay with me and listen to my prayer. Without Him, I am nothing. :)

Having a mixed feeling now and yet I'm cheering others up. Lol. I got no idea what am I thinking. Hmm, just hope that next semester will be a better one and won't be hectic like this semester. God bless.

P/S: Went for another holiday trip with family last week. Still organizing all those pictures. Lol. Very lazy and unproductive. Will post some photos up hopefully before new semester start. =]

Told myself, it's okay. 

Don't get disappointed and demotivated. 

Tomorrow will be better. :)

2nd Year Sem 1 ENDED

2nd year Sem 1.. Exams finally ended! Disaster semester. Non-stop having group works, meeting, assignments, presentations, tests..... Pheww, it almost killed me. Pressure and stress hitting me to the max. I can't even recalled back what I've did during the semester and also what I crap for my last paper just now. *Mind total blank* What I can do now is to wish myself the best of luck. =/

Been exhausted for the past 1 month. I can't even remembered what I did except keep burning midnight oil and crap a lot at Whatsapp.. Uh-huh.. My life..... HAHAHAHA.. Reading back all those messages make me laugh like mad. LOL. Being blur is just so me all the times. Never changed since last time. =P

Sometimes, the best medicine is to be yourself and care those who really care for you. =)

You don't need a valid reason to be happy sometimes. See-ing others happy make me happy. It would be better IF only I can control myself not to think too much sometimes. Still FAIL to do so like seriously. -.- Being too sensitive wasn't a good thing as it make me think too much. ><"..

How I wish I can be the one who always bring happiness to others while keep all those sadness towards myself. Hmm, a random thought. I mean, it will be good to see others happy and not to let others worry about me. I think I push myself too hard sometimes. Being not expressive is another weaknesses of mine. I don't know how to express myself. T.T

Oh ya, I'm having my holidays now! Finally after a loooooong war. I guess...... I can't concentrate on too many things. Make me exhausted somehow. lol.. It's time for me to REST and ENJOY my 1 months+ holidays. HAHAHAHA. For those who said I MIA for N years, you can date me now, or else, you guys will only see me during the year end. HAHAHAHA. =P

Thank you for those who keep giving me support and advice when I need someone to talk and listen to. I might be passive. I do not know how to share out my own feelings. But I really get it and I feel so touched. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate a lot. I don't need to mention those names, you know who you are. A simple message always made my day and ended up with a big big smile. Thank you. Hee. =)

Me and my little baby Dragon :)

*Little elephant said, G-Dragon -.-*

I'm fear of "Athazagoraphobia". 

A new term I just found out just now. O_o..

Exhausted yet Thankful

Exams just 3 weeks away and I'm still unprepared yet. This semester is such a tiring semester. Way too many things to do. It's really hard to balance between study and family. I got no time even for myself. :(

How I wish I can just give up and don't bother anything about it. Sometimes, I don't think I belong here. Giving my self so much pressure till I cried sometimes. I don't think I can handle somehow. I'm struggling. But no one knows because cause I keep everything towards myself.. =/

Sometimes when I think of giving up, God whispered to me "I'M always there for you, anytime and anywhere." And that's the reason why I'm still here. =)

Even though I faced challenge, but HE always prepared the best solution for me. HE planned everything for me accordingly so that I can follow HIS step, becoming better and better. HE guide me the way. HE is the reason why even I'm stressed and exhausted, but yet, I'm still smiling around and cheerful as usual. =)

Instead of keep grumbling about it, I should be Thankful all the time because HE is always there for me no matter how. Through good and bad, I'm becoming stronger now. Life is always challenging, that's why it's called LIFE.

Be thankful and positive minded always, because I'm a lucky girl. I'm always NOT alone; family, friends and God always with me. =)

My Video Shooting mates. =)

My Babyy Dino. 

She says: "I'm your ONLY daughter." =P
And thanks for becoming our Special Guest! =D

P/S: Sorry for blur-ed my group mates. =P

P/S: I don't pray for more time; pray for how should I use my time wisely.  

Depressed

Depressed... It seems that whatever I studied and revised, it means nothing and I don't even know a single thing about it. =(

Today was a hectic day for me. I woke up late, screwed in R.Methods test (I think...), getting back my Eng for Psycho test marks, and lastly, revise back last week SPSS test which I can confirmed I gonna failed it.

Why? Can anyone tell me why? I can answer all the questions exactly during the revision time, but why when it come to test, I seems to know nothing about it?! =(

I felt so upset about myself. It seems that my effort to revise means nothing to me. I am so worried now that I can't even passed my assignment. So, what is the purpose for me to go for the exam then? =(

While driving back home, my tears drop. I feel so useless. I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I ask myself why would this happened to me? I did revision on it, and I know and knew how to do it, but how can I failed the test? When the lecturer revise back all those questions just now, I manage to get 90% of the answer correctly.

But why and how can I did badly in the test? It just doesn't make any sense to me. It was just so simple and now, I feel like banging my head to the wall now. I..................just got nothing to say now.

What I hope is to pass all my assignments as well as my final exams. God bless.

Don't worry, I'm fine. 

Little crazy monster girl will be back!

Whoever give up first is a loser!