Short Getaway :)

9 - 10 May 2015

Woohooo~ A short getaway trip with friends are da best! :D

It was indeed a blessed weekend with them. It has been quite some time since we last meet up, so it's time to catch up with each other lil bit. Heh. :)

Fetch both of them at MV and there our journey start. There's a lot of hehehahas in the car. Just DAMN.A.LOT.OF.LAME.JOKES. LOLOLOL. I can't remember everything, but basically just one word, FUN. Thanks for the awesome memories guys. :)

We were chit-chatting all the way from KL to PD, non-stop. HAHAHA. Don't know how we started this conversation, but basically, we were singing this song; Timber by Pitbull. 

It's going down, I'm yelling timber.

You better move, you better dance.....

And out of nowhere, I just......crap la. As usual I know. Lololol.

So, I sang.....

It's going down, I'm yelling timber.......LAND. 

You better move, you better dance.....

Uhmm, both of them straight away burst laughing. WAHAHAHAHA. 

I explained to them... When you cut the timber, it will then fall on the land.

Hence, timber......LAND.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Very lame I know. But so serious for what? No fun la then. Anyway, both of them just -_- me and now, they also followed me my way and sing together with me. LOL. And yay! This song is now stuck in our mind lolololol.

Okay, I don't plan to write long story anyway. But this posts will be FULL with pictures just because I'm just so in the mood to edit pictures (it happened once in a blue moon), so before I put these pictures aside, I better take this chance to update my blog a bit. Lol. Don't waste my effort for taking such nice pictures ma, right? Right. And also I want to pen down these memories with them before I forget everything. Hah.

Sorry guys, I have goldfish memory lol. 

Pictures time. :)

Day 1

Our first stop was at Seremban which I introduced them this shop which I described it as the Haji Green coloured shop. Lololol. Yea, my way of describing things somehow is, uhh weird. But yea, we manage to find it and we had our lunch here. :)

Haji Shariff's Cendol.

Went to Seremban for this famous Cendol. 

RM1.70 with Jagung.

Yumm Yumm. :)

Mee Rojak, RM3.50 

Burpss, done with our so called lunch.

Let's wefie before heading to our destination. Heh. :)

Reached safely. 
So glad there're rooms available, so we get to check-in early @ 2pm. Heh. :)

Junk food~

HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

Photo-bomb tidbits. XD

 Taken outside our room.
The sky is so so so blue!! So beautiful. :)

It's some outdoor time, also means pictures time! HAHAHA.

Hiiiiiiii.

Model of the day. XD

A happy kid is happy. HEHEHE. 

Eating a Subway sandwich from the sea. Lololol.

Uhmm, it taste....salty though. LOL.

Hi, I'm a potential waitress. 

I promise I'll give you gooooood service okay. XD

Sometimes, I'm a monkey too.
I mean...Gorilla. LOL.

My hair smell nice lol.

 Okay, a nice one, finally.

:3

Done with all AWESOME photos.

Sun is too shinny, so we back our room to relax and enjoy air-cond. Heh. 

Nuah-ing on the bed before heading to the beach in the evening.

Here we're all lying in our bed watching Lion King. So syok! :)

Going to the beach around 5pm.

Then make a U-turn back to our room because...... I forgot my car key.

LOLOL.

While N headed back to our room to get the car key, KL took a picture of me eating bread cause I'm hungry lol.

The contrast.

So got feel. 

Pantai Saujana.

Awww. So so so beautiful! :)

Hi, our long awaited bitch. Uhmm, I mean beach. =P
Blue blue sky.

So thankful the weather was so good and nice. :)

Woots! Woots! Look at da sun!

Beautiful but hot. O_O!


Playing kite. :)

:]

Helllo. :D

My part-time photographer. XD

What what what?!

With slippers.

Where's our legs?!
Under the sea. Sorry, I mean, sand. 

So natural.
So beautiful.
I mean the sand, trees, sea and..... US of course. 
HAHAHAHA. XD

We took too many picture, so only few AWESOME one were selected. 
Too lazy to edit all. Lol.
Look at the middle one, the smile is so charming and bright.
Okay, kindly please ignore me lol.

Meh. Play with my hair AGAIN. -_-

Jump! 

Jump Jump!

Jump Jump Jump!

 HAHAHAHAHA. I don't know what am I doing.

LOLOLOL. 

Hi, Leng Zai over there lololol.

Back to car to another beach; our initital plan.
Then, drive halfway, saw this..........

Wahhh, pasar malam.
Okay, our dinner was decided! HAHAHA.
Straight away forget out sunset plan and squeeze in it. Lol.

All sunset photos were taken while driving.

Of course the both of them, not me.

Because food won over our heart. Lolol. 

But it's okay, we still manage to capture these awesome beautiful pictures. :)

Tell me how can you not love nature? 

This shot was taken with my Baby N4. :)

B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.

Back hotel and attack!!!!!

2 cup of Soya Bean
1 cup of AsamBoi
1 packet of Kuey Teow
1 packet of Nasi Daging
2 pieces of Apom Balik
2 pieces of Roti John (Ayam & Daging)
1 piece of Kebab
2 cups of Jagung

Conclusion? Cannot finish, full die. =<

This is what your friends will do to you.
Putting all pillows and bolster on me to decorate me.

They said I look like a... Snake. Lol. >_>

Day 2

N and I woke up quite early. Don't know why lol. While KL was still in her lullaby dreamland till we have to wake her up for breakfast. Ehem. *cough cough* Oh ya, it rained in the morning. Was slightly disappointed though cause raining means the sky will look grey-ish, pictures won't come out nice. But hey, NO. The sky was still blue! Yay! Such a beautiful Sunday! Heh. :)

Taken from the car park. :)

We were waiting for the buggy service, but too paiseh to sit, so we ended up wait for 10+ mins and.....walk back to our room lol. #wastetime = # picturetime 
HAHAHAHA

:)

Peace~

 :D

WAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Ohaiyo.

We are Butt-ies. XD 

What are youuu thinking? O_O

Yea, can see clearly in this picture she don't like me. T_T 

Fine, I go away lo.
She... YAY *look at her face*

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Sky is pink because over exposed lol*

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA x 2!!!

Imma gonna join in the fun. XD

Yo!  

Cool. 

Our family portrait lol. 

A rabbit. =B

A close up shot. Heh.

Nuah-ing on bed before leaving.

My babies are so fluffeh~

Lying on bed till the last minutes seconds.
Extended our check-out time till 1pm. :)

Last wefie before leaving.
We will be back! :)

P/S: Was supposed to post this yesterday, but can't finish edit and arrange those picture nicely. Yeap, thanks to my OCD-ness. =]

P/S 2: Wow. It has been ages since I update my blog so fast. Lol. Yeap, thanks to my laziness. =]

P/S 3: Wow. I actually touch my computer for few hours non-stop cause of editing these pictures. The last time I remember I was using computer that long was months ago. Yeap, because I've graduated. HAHAHAHA.

Thanks for the awesome memories guys.

Miss ya lots. :)

Internship #Part 1

Yo! It's February! 

Just got back from my short getaway trip with family 2 days ago. It seems so short, 4 days are never enough. Desperately want more holidays! At the same time, I want money too.. Don't work get money? Dream la you. HAHAHA. Anyway, this post is not about my trip thingy. Lololol. Sorry ah disappointed you guys. =P

As me being me, I've been really lazy to update my blog, even my Dayre kinda rotting now (very active being a reader, but not for being a writer). -_- Okay la, I can explain. No blogging cause I need to turn on my lappie which I don't need to turn em' on as I got my phone to do whatever things I want to do. Acceptable and reasonable, right? Right. As for Dayre.. Err... It really depends on my mood one. Sometimes very active, sometimes gahhh. HAHAHAHA. Whatever. =P

Plus, I'm always busy also la. Except I got 48 hours a day, then maybe I'll update more often. XD

Okay okay, no grandmother grandfather story.

The reason I'm here to update cause I'm at home again. Yes, AGAIN. Lolol. Don't ask me why.. >.> Been internship-ing for like a month, 2 more months to go! Well, things went so far so good. Learnt a lot of things within this 1 month. To those who don't know what am I intern as... I work as an Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) therapist; dealing with Autistic kids. :)

Supposedly work in centre based, but due to some problem, centre needs to be relocated. 

This wasn't a recent news, it's about 1 month ago. But for those who're curious and wanted to know what's happening, please read here for more info: Story on Cheras autism centre’s plight goes viral

As for now, I'm working as a home-based therapist. :) 

Before taking up Psychology course, my first intention is to work in children field. Then, across different subjects I've taken, slowly, I've started to gain interest in counseling field. So, I'm confused between these two, which one should I choose? Uhmm. 

Honestly, I dislike things go out of my plan. Most of the time, I'd plan things along so that I would follow it or at least I'll have a rough guideline for myself. That's also the reason why I dislike people who always do last minute cancellation a.k.a FFK. But.... I don't know why I never plan for my future. Uhh. Seriously, I don't really have a plan for it, I am like... Whatever comes, I'll just go along with it. Uhmm, funny mindset I have.

As for now, I choose to go back to square, which is in working with children; specifically children with Austistic. The work I'm doing now is to work one-to-one with the kid; basically home-based means I need to travel around. It's absolutely something new for me. I'm so freaked out at first, really. I almost wanted to ask for more training and observation before starting to deal with it alone. 

I'm so so so nervous. I really think I would just screw everything up. But, God knows me more than I know myself. He prepared everything for me, one small step at a time. Throughout all the session, I'm so thankful that He is always with me. Also, I wanted to thanks my Monkey for being so helpful and supportive all the times. Whenever I faced any problems, she'll always help me out without hesitation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)

Been working with Little E for like about 2 weeks alone and sometimes co-work with Monkey. On my first precious day working with Little E, nervous till I feel to pee in my pants lol. I'm so freaking nervous and reached 30+ mins earlier to mentally and physically prepare myself. ><..

First day was so exhausted. Little E did not listen to my instructions at all. I play with him, attract him with his toys, physically prompt and so on, NOTHING works. He just stands on the chair and faced towards the window. AHHH. Finally...manage to persuade him back to sit on his table and work, but...once I get back to my own place, he started to run away again. Fml. I almost killed myself on that day. T________T..

On the second day onward, of course I'm still nervous, but thank God things slowly going well. He started to listen to my instruction as I'm more firmed with him as this is what I've been told to. Wow. It really works! Although not all the time, but most of the time. Now I find the joy of being firmed. HAHAHA.

Oh, something significant happened too. Never I would forget this in my life... Little E hit me twice on my neck. -_- I thought I would die from Little E's kung-fu. Lol. Fyi, Little E is not really that little, he's 9 years old and he's also a non-verbal kid btw. Find it weird to called him Mr.E though, hence Little E. Lol. 

It just happened in blink of an eye. Out of nowhere, while giving him to do his relaxation board, he suddenly hit me, throwing tantrums and cried. I was like.... OMG. WHAT I DID??? O___o

He cried make me feel like crying too. LOL. Of course I did not, I felt more freaked out than to cry. I felt the pain on my neck. I was stunned. I don't know what to do. I'm so nervous. I'm so lost. :(

As an ABA therapist, we are NOT allowed to scold / punish the kid in any possible situation. And at that point, I don't even feel the slightest angry in me. I'm more concerned on what's happening and how to solve this problem. I know I need to calm myself down. I cannot be anxious as the situation will became worse if I'm nervous. Quickly I prayed and asked for guidance. 

WOW! Amazing God is amazing, on the third hour, he's so much better! He's able to do some programs with me although his concentration was kinda here and there. The happiness. :)

I've gain so much knowledge and confidence in handling kids now. Learnt to be more independent too. Being an ABA therapist, we need to give a lot of reinforcement to the kid; especially giving verbal reinforcement. 

Honestly, I'm not really good at giving verbal reinforcement. Uhmm, well, I'm never good at saying things in general. So yea.. I'm so nervous till I kept my mouth shut most of the time. It's like there's "GOLD" in my mouth. Lololol. 

It's so hard for me to make a step on this issue. I tried so hard to conquer my fear, at last, I was like... I don't give it a damn and just do whatever I should be doing. I want breakthrough! I don't want to let the old me define my future. And yes, I've take a big step this round, I make a move. After few days handling Little E alone, I've become so much more comfortable in doing so. Not saying I'm the best, but I can see some improvements in me and I'm happy for this. :)

These are some of the verbal reinforcement I kept repeating. Heh. 

Well done! 

Good job! 

Beautiful job! 

Clever boy! 

You're so great! 

Amazing!

You're so good!

Fantastic!

Okay, done with this super long essay. Lol. If only I'm always that free and motivated, I'll write more essay. HAHAHAHA. It's pichas timeeee! :)

My investments. Heh. :)

The room that I work with Little E.

Token Board.

When Little E manage to do 1 program, one token will be given. 
Accumulate 4 tokens and he'll get his reward. :) 

Program - Colour Imitation (2 colours)

Left: Me

Right: Little E

Program - Colour Imitation (3 colours)

Left: Me

Right: Little E

Noticed the paper is crumpled? ><.. 

This was the first time I gave him do the program. I'm still very slow with it and I forget that the paper is still with him, so... he just crumpled it. -_- I swear the next time I take away the paper on the spot. So, it just happened once. Lol.

#lessonlearn

Program - Matching (5 pairs)

Stencils drew by Little E

Program - Block Imitation (8 blocks)

Little E's toys and also his reinforcers. :)

Little E's play time gadget. 

iPad. Fyi, this is my personal gadget. Lolol.

Letting him to watch and listen some Nursery Songs.

This song is... O'Mac Donald had a farm. Ee Ya Ee Ya O~

Successfully ended my first case. I started to be more confident in handling it although there are time I'm still a bit lost. But I believe that practice makes perfect! Hehehe. This job does not only require patience, but the most important criteria we must have is PASSION. May Him grant me more confidence and unconditional love to deal with it. 

Autistic kids are NOT retarded. They are no difference like us. They just learn things in a different way and express it differently.

Will be assigned to another kid by this week. Stay tuned! :)

Ended my last session with him last Friday. 

Gonna miss you. Little E. 

I hope you're doing well. :)

Officially GRADUATED in Psychology!

Halo halo. Happy 2015 peoples! Although it's 27 days late for this wish but... It's better late than never right? Right. Lololol. Since I'm off at work today and I got nothing to do staying at home. I shall update a bit to make my blog alive for a moment. Heh.

On the 22nd Jan 2015...

Proudly present you my GREATEST achievement of the year..

My thesis!!! Lolol.

Finally, done with thesis submission on the 22nd Jan! The feeling is superb! Been really lazy since my exams ended last year. Exhausted from all the things happening around me. Motivation level is at my lowest. At that time, I just wanna give myself a break. And yes, of course I did. In fact, too much break for myself. Lol. Can get my work done way earlier, but I kept procrastinate it. Ehem.

Anyway, I get it done at last! I'm so thankful that I did most of it during semester. I was struggling with my thesis, assignments, presentations and exams at that time, but still, I'm stubborn enough to force myself to do it. And yeap, I did NOT regret for all the sleepless nights I went through during the semester.

I thank Him for letting me to be as stubborn as I can. Lol. Suffer first and relax later. I prefer this way. Thinking back, He's preparing me for all these cause He knows what I can handle the best at that time. So, I'm glad and happy I made that decision although I would say, it's really tough to balance all things at once. :)

Thank you for those who help me out in my thesis. Thank you. I could never have done it without all your support. I thank Him for guiding me throughout the whole process. Thanks to my supervisor for all the guidance and support. Thanks to all my friends that help me to distributed my questionnaires. And also thanks to my Pika for helping me out too. :)

When I'm busy, I wanted to blog but no time. When I'm free, I'm too lazy to turn on my lappie. LOL. Yeap. Feeling even more lazy after done with thesis. I rather spend my time going out with people and exploring stuffs than facing at this freaking rectangular box in front of me; which is the reason why I'm dragging all my post like forever. =]

On the 23rd January 2015...

WHAAAAT do you mean I'm officially graduated?

p/s: Current most favourite natural pic of myself. LOL.

So, exams results out exactly on 23rd Jan, which is my day. Lol. I prayed so hard that I wanna get all pass, even all D's also I'm fine with it. It was my final year paper and I don't want to resit it in any possible way. Plus, this exam I know I didn't do well (taking the risks to skip questions in the exams which NEVER happened in my life before) which make me even more afraid. FML.

So, take up my courage and checked my results before sleep. *Click click click, heart beat increases* The moment I click into the page..... I saw ALL PASS!!! I THANK GOD FOR LETTING ME TO PASS ALL SUBJECTS!!! This is the BEST present for myself! *touched, feeling accomplished* Thus, I'm officially GRADUATED now!! Heh! :)

3 years in Psychology is like fighting in a battle field. Many times I felt like giving up. I never thought I could make it through. I'm more than blessed for getting so many support from my family and friends, and of course His guidance. With all the struggles, challenges, stresses, difficulties, sleepless nights I faced, I'm proud to say, I pass ALL subjects. Even though I didn't get straight A's, but yes, I'm happy enough. For all the effort I put it, it's worth for it. :)

When I told my mom and aunties this, they were so happy for me as they knew how much I'm struggling within these 3 years studying in Psychology. Especially my last semester. Phewww. And now, I'm done with studies. Doing my 3 months internship now, I'm glad I'm on my own now. More than happy. :)

As for now, I don't have any plan to go for further studies. I want to work and get some experience. Maybe in the future I'll decide to go back to study life, but definitely not for now. :)


Okay, it's my ME-time again.
Gonna watch drama, lying in bed and HAE myself for the day. HAHAHA.
Babaiii.

God, continue to show me Your way.

I'm lost at one point and I wanna get back on track.

And even do it better.

Amen. :)

Groggy day

Slept around 3:30am last night, fell asleep half way reading journals.

Woke up around 1pm, feeling kinda groggy.

Then, fell asleep around 3:30pm till almost 5pm. -.- 

Feeling even more groggy. Zzz...

Then.........fell asleep AGAIN around 7pm+ till 8pm+.....

And, I AM STILL GROGGY. Meh. -.-

Feeling kinda demotivated with my studies. 

I don't know why and I know I'm not supposed to have this thought. 

Uhhmm.

Today whole day trying to concentrate on my work. 

Got no idea why I couldn't really focus at all.

Sitting in front lappie, open all files, read for N times also don't understand it.

Gahhhh. Seriously don't know what am I doing. T_T..

I guess it's time I shall prioritize my sleep first, then only work? 

Right? Right.

If only I can do so. -.-

But... But... But...

Like today, it seems that sleeping whole day long didn't really work for me...

Hmm, I guess it's not the matter of quantity, but quality.

I really need some peaceful sleep. =]

Oh ya....
Been reading Dayre recently, and this make me thought of creating an account too. 

 Should I? Hmmm...

Maybe I should. =]

I'm still feeling very groggy now.
I am sleepy. Very sleeeeepy.
ZzZZzZ.. T_________T..

Okay... I shall stop now and continue with my work.
Long long night for me again.
I hope I can focus... Keep fighting...
P/S: Uhh, Mr.Cough has been with me for me past 1 month+. Please stay far far away from me......  

Uhmm. Babaiiii.
Take care.

Nights people.

再难熬的，都会过的。
不要放弃！加油！

Love it or hate it - Rats Brain

Arghhhh. Damn stressed. 

Quiz tomorrow. About? About? About? 

Bet you can't guess it. 

Rats Brain. 

See, told you, you won't be able to guess it correctly.

My sis asked: Why print out the same thing for so many pages?

I answered: Now you know why I so stress. It looks so similar, but in fact it's different!

Been memorizing all those parts since this Wednesday. 

The more I try to memorize, the more I got confused. 

Seriously. Ughhhh.

Had a sample of the quiz in Tutorial class this Thursday. 

Surprisingly, I manage to answer all of it correctly. 

Happy? Yes, of course I'm happy. 

I told myself, I'm just lucky to get it right.

Uhmm well, maybe.... My hard work seems paid off. 

I spent whole freaking day from morning till night just to memorize 16 slides of the 4cm rats brain. 

No joking. 16 slides ONLY to me is like reading 1 whole textbook. -.-

Yes, it might sounds a bit too over. 

But hey. I AM NOT A BIOLOGY STUDENT LA.

And my Science sucks anyway.

Whyyyyyyyyyy?

I don't understand why Psychology students need to take this subject.

T______________T..

So, you might think, why am I still so stress on it then? Since I've memorize all of it dy.

Yea, I wish so.

2 days ago, I just found out that we also have to memorize the "uploaded text-book" in e-learn. 

Then I was like.................... GG. 

Stress level elevate on the spot.

So, my original plan screw dy la of course.

My initial plan was to revise again the 16 slides of rats brain, do some correction for my thesis, read History textbook (Imma sucks at History also T_T) and so on....

Then now it become fully occupied by the "left-over rats brain info".

T_________T..

I hate when my plan didn't follow accordingly as what I've planned. :(

So, very obvious. This also means that my sleeping time back to abnormal again. 

Sleep with textbook and notes again.

Fall asleep unconsciously and even alarm can't wake me up.

My alarm snooze for like 2 hours also I can still sleep like a dead pig.

Honestly, people come and rob me also I don't know I guess. 

Zzzzz.

There's an internship fair tomorrow at Uni. 

I'm still not so sure where am I going to work at.

What type of job should I choose?

When I'm stress, I don't talk much.

Love it or hate it.

Dear rats brain, I really really really love you.

Please love me back.  

Learned helplessness - To help or not to help?

Learned helplessness in another more simple term means learned NOT to help. For more detailed explanation, please click here. =]

Today's topic was inspired by a random conversation I had with Sifu this early morning. We started off with some random conversations where he said he saw an accident happened in a cross-junction; a car hit the motorcyclist (Malay) till the motor fly-up high to the traffic light height. The car didn't stop by and just drove away; hit-and-run incident. So, Sifu was just being helpful, he went down and help the person. BUT then he ended up almost got hit by few of the Malay guys *Imma not racist, but that was the truth* The reason is because they thought Sifu is the one who hit the Malay guy. Then, from that day onward, even he saw similar incident again, he choose not to help anymore.

Hmm, interesting fact. We wanted to help at most times, but somehow, the people / environment we lived in make us choose not to help. Not because we can't, but because we're just too afraid to help because we might get into trouble for no reasons.

So, why we learned NOT to help?

1. Due to past negative experiences. 

This is so true. Most of us learned from past experiences. Well, as a Psychology Degree student, we have tons of assignments need to do. T_T.. So one "top activity" we MUST do is to find participants to do our survey / experiment. So, I understand sometimes you might find me / us annoying. Lololol.

When friends asked: "Can you do me a favour and fill in the survey for me? Pleaseee?"
Me: Yes, sure. Here you go. :)

When I asked: "Can you do me a favour and fill in the survey for me? Pleaseee?"
Friends: Yes, sure. *and..........no response at all* -.-

2. Others don't want us to help them.

This happened all the time. We have big-heart and wanted to help the person so much, but the person ended up don't appreciate our help at all. Maybe for the first few times, you'll tell yourself, "It's okay, I'll try again next time..." But after trying, trying and trying..........for more than 10 times. One day, you'll get frustrated. We're all humans, we have our limit. No matter how patience are we, there are times you'll just get frustrated and choose to give up.

3. We only have limited time. 

Very true. Often we want to help, but we were just too busy with our own lives. Once I was asked to participate in a church event going to orphanage to help out. I wanted to go so badly, like reallllly. But I was just too busy with my studies at that time. So, in between studies and helping out, which should I choose?

I was struggling. I don't know which to choose.

4. Negative news from media. 

Well. I guess this had a big impact towards us. We often get hooked to the internet life. We get the latest and most updates news from social media like Facebook, Twitter and so on. News often portray that people help the victims, but ended up got cheated by the victim. It sounds funny, but that's just the truth.

Still remembered few years back, I saw an Indian guy and lady with 2 kids, waving her hands nearby the road side. I stop-by and they said their kid was having fever. They wanted to send their kid to the clinic, but they have no money and asked whether can I send them to the clinic.

In term of money wise, so sorry. My wallet normally only have few bucks left. Lol. And in terms of fetching them, I really wanted to do so. But, I was just too afraid to help them. I do not know their background; some more I'm alone and there's a guy there. Who knows what will they do to me? So, I ended up just left.

To be honest, there are times I really feel like choosing not to help even though I know I shouldn't do so. But still, after re-think, ended up I still choose to help. People said I'm stupid because always help others but ended up own-self get hurt.

Hmm, I don't know. One thing I always tell myself, help others as long as I'm capable to do so because God says so. And also, I believe that helping others make the person feels good, and I feel happy if I'm able to help. By this mean, helping here I don't mean helping with the intention of getting back any form of compensation. Help with a voluntary heart. Also I believe that we might need help too, what if you're in their shoes and no ones there to help you? How would you feel then?

Well. Reality is still reality....... Sometimes, we're stuck in a dilemma where we don't know what to choose between helping and not helping. I never say helping is easy because it requires time, effort, love, patience and so on. When I faced such dilemma, I'll pray to calm myself down. Listen to what His words are. And this verse just came across my mind.

Acts 20:35 
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said. "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Many people said study Psychology can earn a lot. You gonna be rich next time. But I told them, my main intention to study this field is because I wanted to help people. Then they give me a weird look. Hmm, it might sounds funny to some of you, but that's just what I like to do.

As for now, to be honest, money isn't my biggest attraction. Hmm, in the future, I don't know. And of course, I'm not saying money is not important, I do still need at least a minimum income in order to survive.

To help or not to help?

I choose to help.

Help with a voluntary heart.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Where is the old me?

They said I've changed. 

The old me has gone...

Then I started to wonder...

Sometimes, I love listening story about me, myself from others. Like telling me how much I've changed? What's their first impression about me? From how we know each other? What's good and bad about me? And so on....... 

Some people don't like others to say any bad things about them. For me, I kinda like people to tell me what's the bad side about me so that I can change to become a better one. Of course, here I doesn't mean anyone also can "criticize" me la. Lol. Hellllllo? Don't tell me you like someone who you're not close with tell you how bad you are when the person don't even know you well? Uhmm, doesn't make sense at all. 

So....... Get to meet them recently. Like finally... We get to spent some time with each other. We are all busy with our own things - studies and working life. It has been awhile since we get to sit down and have heart-to-heart chit-chatting.

With them, I can always be myself. And that's the reason why they told me they notice my changed. Lol. I sit down and listen quietly and as usual, think about it seriously.

Among these 6 years, they said I've changed. "I guess so?", I answered.

I didn't notice it that much until we talk about it. Or maybe I did, just that I'm in denial stage. Hmm.. A broken friendship has changed me. You never know how powerful it is; how someone can impact me so much. Don't judge... You don't know my story and even you know, you'll never know how the feeling is because you're not in my shoes.

So, I ask them, what had I actually changed? *Curiously wanna know it so badly. Lol.* And here's some conversation we had.

• Not as cheerful as last time

They: Last time you always very cheerful one, now not so much dy.
Me: Where got? Most of my friends said I'm always happy-go-lucky.
They: You just pretend...
Me: *Keep quiet for awhile* Hmm, maybe.. Well, uhmm. Sometimes la. Not always what. Depends with who also la. Hmm..
They: You see.

• From a very fast-respond person to a very-slow or even don't respond at all

They: How long will it take you to reply comments as compared to last time?
Me: Hmm, now longer, I guess.
They: Last time you will straight away reply all comments without really think about it. Now? Even though you receive it on the spot, you will reply very late. Or sometimes, you don't even reply.
Me: Hmmm...

• Always share stories and now, not anymore

They: Last time, you always tell us your stories. After that incident, you rarely share. You keep things to yourself.
Me: Got share la... I got update you guys what.
They: You only share when you're about to burst lo.
Me: Hmm....

• Talkative to not-so-talkative

They: Last time whenever we meet, you will always have a lot of things to tell us. You'll be very eager to tell us anything. Now? You'll just keep quiet.

Me: Hmm.. I...... I really don't know why. 

• The way I reply comments

They: Try to look back at your past photos / conversations and see how you reply those comments.
Me: *Keep quiet again...* Ya, I actually notice it.
They: You always reply comments very fast without really think about it. Now? You'll think for long time then only you'll reply.
Me: *Quiet again...........* Hmm, I like to reply everyone's comments, but I'm just afraid..........
They: I miss the old you... Can the old you come back?

Then I randomly ask another question. Actually, what's the first impression of me to you guys?

Piggie one I knew it few years back. But if you're curious to know, I'll share it out. She told me the first impression about me is I'm a very quiet and weird person. -.- Because...........  I always play with my Instant-Dict during class. Also I don't really talk to people and always sit alone. -.-

And, this attracted her to talk to me first. When she told me this, I was like.... LOL. Thanks to my device and we should have a grand celebration with it. Because, without my device, we won't be so close like now... Lol? Hah. =]

Then my lover turn. She said....................

Lover: You like to smile. And I love your smile. :D
Me: Aww. I shall smile more. Lol. Heeeeeee. *Bright white shinning teeth.* =P

Lover, still love my smile or not? 

No, right?

HAHAHAHAHA. XD

It has been 3 years since then. It's definitely not a short period of time. I laughed, I cried. It's time to wake up and move on. =]

Thank you for those who understand me. You guys know what I like and what I don't like. You guys will initiate outing because you know I don't. You guys know I don't like / afraid people don't reply my messages, and most of the time, you guys will reply me *except for that piggie -.-* You guys know.......

Thank you for always being with me all the time; in good and bad days. I know who you are, and I know who I can rely to. :)

As time goes by, we all changed, either in good or bad ways. Meeting with different types of people. Different experiences. Different stages. Learn lessons from different places and people. We fall down and we get back up. That's called LIFE.

God doesn't promise us an easy life but He does promise He'll be with us no matter what we go through. We have an anchor in the storm.

Don't let the past steal your present. :)

A very meaningful video to share with all of you. This video made me cry. Never judge a book by its cover a.k.a never judge a person by its appearance.

P/S: Don't worry, I'm fine. Just a very random deep thoughts I had. And, it's 3am now. Need to wake up early tomorrow and I only have 3 hours+ left for me to sleep. Confirm will be a panda dy. Zzzz.. I shall sleep now. Lol. Babaiiii and nights people. :)

The old me has gone.

The old me. Where are you? =/