I NEED CHANGE.

CAUTION: This post contains my personal random thoughts and feelings. It might make you feel emo. Please click "X" if you feel so. =/

For those who are reading my blog, this is just a random post where I just feel like wanna crap whatever thoughts I'm having now. I'm fine and so, no worries. :)

Hmmmm, sometimes, I wonder, what am I doing now is it right or wrong. It seems right sometimes, but the next moment, it seems wrong. I don't know how to describe my current feeling right now. Perhaps, confused and annoyed are those feelings I'm having now. Hmm.. =/

I don't know how to handle people-relationship situation. Or I should say, I'm not really good at handling all these things. Most of the time I'm very quiet in front of those people I don't know. And those who know me well, you should know how I'll react to when I'm really close with you. No doubt, you'll find that I'm actually crazy, funny, blur, talk a lot of craps and blahhh. So, please bare with my insane-ness. Lol.

I'm everywhere. I don't belong to any fixed group. I mean......... People come and go. Friends that I'm really close with leave without noticing me. I told myself, it's okay, I should be happy because they found a better one than me. But, when all these incidents pile up, it ended up with a really deep scar. It makes me become even more sensitive and having those insecure feeling now.

I always blame myself for causing all these problems. I guess that's one of the reason why I really protect and give full attention to those I really care. I love them as I love my family.

My principle: They happy, I happy. They sad, I sad. Just that simple.

If I got the chance to choose, I prefer to have a fixed group that I can hang on with. Not to say I don't like mixing around, I'll still mixed around with other people. Perhaps, having a fixed group of people make me feel more secure and easier to communicate.

Trust is an issue I need to deal with. I don't know how to express myself to others, not even with the closest one. I'm not trying to hide, but.....maybe.....perhaps.... I guess I'm just being pampered by them too much. They know what to do when I'm not in the mood. They'll try to approach me and try to "force" me to say whatever I wanted to say that I kept inside my heart. So, it become a habit for me now. =/

Yea, as I said, they really know me too well. I'll say it out after being "force" by them, but my habit..... Hmmm, I always say halfway.....then stop somewhere along the line. So, ended up I'll make them mad. Lol. *Sorryyyyy* =/

Sometimes, we really need to find someone whom you can trust to share your feelings out. It definitely makes you feel better. I don't know why it is so hard for me share my feelings to others nowadays. I wanted to, but the moment when I want to say it out, some voice inside me ask me not to. So, I stop myself from being expressive. Then, slowly.....I choose to keep everything to myself.

Few years back, I did. Can't be denied, that's the most memorable and happiest friendship I had ever. Not to say who give in more or whatever. I enjoy all the moments I spent with the one I really care. Yet, that's also the most hurtful friendship I experienced. And it's now all left with memories.

I'm just scared I'll trouble them when I find them. I told this to the one I'm really close with. Anything you guys need help, someone to listen or talk, you're always welcome to find me. But the respond I get from them is exactly the same like me.

"Scared they'll trouble me". Lol. =]

Don't worry, as I've said, I'm fine. Just a random feeling I had. As usual, because of my over-thinking and over-sensitiveness, I always ended up thinking non-sense. Seriously, sometimes I feel like banging my head on the wall. 

I-NEED-CHANGE.

Ughhhh. Byeeee. 

Always smile no matter how heart broken you are. :)

My promised; If you need me, I'll always be there for you; anytime and anywhere. Thanks for those who always be with me too. You know who you are. :)

We met people for a reason. 

Either it's a blessing or it's a lesson. 

Penang Trip #3

Yay! Friday got no class! It's a so called holiday for me. A very lazy Friday~ Heh! =P

So, basically what I did was......sleep half of the day. Lol. Slept for 11 hours and additional of almost 3 hours of nap once I back from my brunch at Jojo. Yay! Sleep so much.....or too much. At least I can sleep. Lalalaaa... A lot of work haven't done yet, bet tonight gonna burn midnight oil or worst case, tomorrow only continue? NOOOO. Tonight must settle at least part of it, or else really GG.com! =/

So yea, let me take some time to update my bloggie. As I've promised, I'll update my Penang Trip #3 now. Enjoy. :)

Penang Trip #1
Penang Trip #2

Chew Jetty 姓周桥 (UNESCO World Heritage Site)
This was the third day of our trip. A very sunny and hot day. Like seriously, if you said KL is hot, please pay a visit to Penang and you'll know what is called HOT. Lol. =]

Drawn by Ernest Zachaveric

The cloud looks like a fist. HAHAHAHA. 

____________________________________________________________

Straits Quay

A very nice and beautiful shopping complex. It looks classy and selling all those high class stuffs. Lol. And on that day when we went, there's an event by Anime Culture Japan Convention Fair going on, I actually took pictures for each car, but too lazy to upload here. So, this is the overview of all those cars. =]

Charlie Brown Cafe~ 

If you're wondering what my mum was holding...

She was actually holding a pair of slippers she bought at Straits Quay. 

LOL.

 Come, eat my fist~

 Let's kick together! XD

 My turn. Hahahaha~

Come, drink water. XD

Last pic I took before leaving Straits Quay..

My mum hugging fatty bro...... HAHAHAHAHA!!!

__________________________________________________________

To end my post.

Here are some random photos I took.

This is what happened when you bring your fluffies along. HAHAHAHA.

The housekeeper help us to arrange it nicely.

I bet they thought this room are kids room. LOL.

Fyi, the red big bolsters were provided by the hotel. =] 

FOOD. FOOD. FOOD. :)

Don't be surprised. LOL. 

3/4 of the lift was fully occupied with our luggages and things we bought. =]

P/S: It was a very happy and satisfied trip with family. Though it was tiring but yet, all of us enjoy a lot during the trip. Laughter here and there. And yes, I feel really blessed to have them in my life. :)

I'm a happy child. :) 

Year 2 Sem 2 - KL Sentral

Promised to update on my Penang Trip #3, and yes, I still remember. But this post wasn't regarding that, I'll update it in some time later. Lol. And so, this post I gonna update a lil bit of my new semester life. Year 2 semester 2. :)

This is the 2nd week of my new sem and 3rd week is coming soon. Time flies. Hmm, as usual, once classes commenced, my life will be upside down. I'm trying not to put too much pressure and stress towards myself this round. I try to be positive and cheerful as I can, and hopefully my stress won't stress others out. *Trying really hard* ><".. But so far, I think I'm still doing good. I think? =/

Feeling really tired sometimes. Another challenging semester for me. Dealing with group work killed me. And those assignments which needed me to talk/express myself is another issues I need to deal with. Ummm... =/

Last semester is a nightmare because of those presentations. But somehow, the feedback I get from lecturers and friends were so different from what I thought of. They said I'm good/fine when giving presentation, I doesn't look nervous and have frequent eye contact. -.-

And my reaction was like....... O.O?? Are you sure? Having presentations make me sleepless night. I was so NERVOUS till I don't know what am I presenting. -.-

Don't worry, I'm fine. I mean I'm still doing good, currently. Still able to handle it. =]

____________________________________________________________

Anyway, went to KL Sentral this Friday with my Mama a.k.a Kek Jin to interview a psychotherapist as one of my assignment requirement. First time taking public transport alone going to a place which I got no idea where it is; and it was very scary. Since few years back incident, I'm now phobia with public transport, feeling so insecure. Lol. Special thanks to those who SMS-es and call me to check whether did I manage to arrived the place safely. What to do, thanks to my inborn blur-ness. XD

 Love you all! :)

Done with first interview. 2 more to go.

Feeling really blessed to have family and friends who cares about me so so so much. :)

Since Mama wanted to eat Indian food. 

So we came to this Indian restaurant. 

We ordered 1 set of Banana Chicken Leaf Rice and share. :)

Noticed the red circle. The first spoon I took. =]

Mama warned and said: Don't tell me you only eat this, I gonna tell your daughter then you know. 

Me: LOL -.-

And yes, I ate more than this. =P

Err, I forgot the name. ><"..

It taste like Curry-puff. =]

Mama and I while waiting them to give us sign the consent form. :)

I know He is always there for me all the time. Though I can't see, but yet I can feel the support and encouragement He gave me. Whenever I feel like giving up, I pray for His guidance and strength. When I feel helpless, I pray for his wisdom so that I can make the correct decision. Always have faith in Him. Pray and trust in God. :)

Those who always be with me. Thanks for those encouragement too! :)

Hang on..
I'm not alone.
I'm fine.

Life still goes on. :)