Friday, July 29, 2011

Appreciate PROBLEM

Whenever I am going to give up, hope is always beside me.

Is this a sign to tell me that I shouldn't give up?

People always used to say, give up means cowardice.

But, sometimes giving up means that I got the courage to face it.

Which one is better?

It seems that there is no U-turn once I've choose it.

I don't know what should I do.

Because I know once I make a wrong move, which mean THE END.

It just like a round-about. It's a circle where I can go any direction I want.

But the problem is I didn't have an exact direction on where should I go.

What I can do is to just keep on going until I find the way I should go.

Life is always not easy.

When problem keep arising, it means that we're growing up.

But, do learn on how to appreciate problem.

Because problem give us chance to learn from the mistakes.

It tends to teach us a lot of things which we can't learn from anywhere.

We experienced it, we learned from it.


Relaxing myself...

Problem is our friend.
It always give us guiding without telling us.
Thank you....

Friday, July 22, 2011














“对不起” 这三个字,我听腻了。








Sunday, July 17, 2011











Because of you...

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you...

P/S: I love to be disappear... Lost in the world... =]

我很累... =(

Friday, July 8, 2011

Back to the old days...

Yeahhh, the feeling is coming back to me. The feeling was just like the same when we first met. The way we used to talk, smile and laugh. All those feeling is just came back to me now, again. =D

It has been really quite sometimes, the PAST which really make me fall into a dilemma. I always try to escape from the reality. Just because I scare. Yes, I scare, I'm afraid of THAT will happened to me once again. I always told myself.. Nothing, nothing, it's all past.... But be frank, did I really think so? Or it was just a lied towards myself?  Hmmmm....

It seems that I really take THAT into matters? Yes, I really do. Towards some people, maybe you might think that it was just a small case. But for me, it wasn't. It's always easy to forgive than forget. It has been months and months, and until now, I still afraid THAT will happened to me once again. I just really afraid of those feeling being ignore. And of course, I hate it too. =(

Have you ever feel before a person that you're close to, which you can tell him or her everything, tend to changed to become a stranger? The way we trust, we speak, we smile, we talk is totally different from last time. How would you think this as? Normal? But for me, it was a scary nightmare... I seriously feel scare and I did cry because of this reason for tons of time.

If you ask me reason why I did so. I can tell you is because just I care. I just care too much sometimes and it make me don't even know what I really want... I got no courage to ask, but I wanted to know. I feel sad and cry, but I don't even know why I did so. Hilarious huh? =]

You might think so.. But you will not understand what my feeling is until you know how to care a person who is important to you. When you care someone who is really important towards you, and that person tend to change to become another person, the feeling is just so HURT. It just can't be describe and at that moment, you will felt that in this world, you're the only one left.

When you did so much to appreciate someone, make him or her happy, but that person don't even know how to appreciate you. What would you feel at that moment? It does not really matter whether it's towards a relationships or friendship. Both is just the same. The feeling do really hurt if it really happened...

Human mind are always funny. When you treat them good, they will always think that you're trying to take advantages from them. Why don't they think another way? Why can't they think that others treat them good is because they appreciate you as their partners? Isn't it's a better way to think so? Your partners happy, and you also happy. Both parties also benefits.

Think twice and wise before you act. Don't always tend to do it and regret it later. Sorry for 1 time, 2 times, 3 times.. So what? The relationship has changed at that time. It wasn't as stable as those time. At that moment, SORRY means nothing....

I always did something funny or crazy doesn't mean that I'm abnormal.
I always joke around doesn't mean that I love to joke.
I always care people not because I wanna let others know that I'm a good friend.
But.......................just because I want everyone around me happy. Especially to those I care.

I specially wrote this passage to my friends who read my blog. Especially towards those who really close with me. I'm not a person who really know how to say out what my heart think. It's really hard for me to say it out. I always tend to hide my weaknesses because I don't want you guys to worried me.

I know how much you guys care about me. And I sincerely wanna say million of thanks to all of you. Without you guys, my life seems to be meaningless. You guys gave me a lot of happiness. I miss all the time we hang out together since the first day we met each other till now.

I rather lose something else also don't wanna lose our friendship. =D

Happy 21st Birthday to Chee Ching a.k.a Darling..
Wish you always happy and all the best in your future! =D
Many happy returns!

Back to the old days...
Thank you for everything... 
You guys rocks! =D

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Grandma, I miss you...

Had a nap just now as I did not had enough sleep yesterday. Whole day blur... Early morning been forced to wake up and go out with my mummy and aunties to Sg.Wang there for the Clinelle free redemption. 11am starts, but 9am have to go out. LOL. ><"~

Every single empty bottle with the word of Brightening or Whitening are entitle to change for 1 FREE Clinelle Whitening product which costs RM80 per bottle for FREE. 1 customer, 1 redemption. And yeah, 4 of us, changed it for RM320 for FREE.  Hmmm, it really worth for it! *But..... Pity me, stand there for 2 hours++... T_T*

4 hours of sleep for me is definitely NOT enough. And yeah, I took a small nap just now. And surprisingly, I dreamed just now. Usually I will forget what I dream, but I have no idea why I can remembered back what I dream for this time. The dream seems to be so real. Just like it just happened few days ago...

I dreamed about someone which is really important in my life. Who? Boyfriend? Noooo, of course. I dreamed about my grandma, which I called her as Popo. I seriously miss her badly. Yes, I really meant it. =(

She passed away for more than 10 years. Which until now, I still can remembered her very well. When I was still a baby, she is the one who take care of me. Until when I was 10 years old, God came and bring her to a new life place. From that day onwards, we were separated in 2 different places.

I can't see her anymore.
I can't hug her anymore.
I can't talk to her anymore. 
The only thing I can do is to keep thinking back all the memories that I had together with her... And of course the feeling of her love towards me...

She was the first person who gave me a deep memories towards me till now. She was just like my friend. She cares me, love me and willing to do whatever things to make me happy. She is the one I closed to when I was small till the day she leave me. She was the one who always like to scold me when I'm naughty, but later on, she is also the one who say sorry...

In my dream, we both appeared to be climbing up the staircase back our house. I have reached the floor that we stay. And she still slowly walking up the staircase. I look down again and went down to accompany her to walk together.

My grandma says: "Why wait me? Go upstairs first. I can walk slowly..."
I answered: "Don't want, I walk together with you, Popo..."
My grandma says: "No need, wait me upstairs..."
I answered her again: "I only got 1 Popo, and so, I will and should always care for you, accompany you till forever..."

She look at me and smiled, showing me her lovely and warm sweet face to me. We both holding each other hand and walk up the staircase slowly... And yeah, until here, I was awaken due to the HOT weather... Sweating around. Sigh, my dream gone...

I seriously hope what I dream was reality. I hope she's still staying beside me, and saw me grow up. I really hope we can go travel again, talking to each other, having dinner together and going out again. But I knew, I can never achieved this dream. It was just merely a dream...

My tears keep dropping when I writing this post. I just missed her too much. Life just once, appreciate every single moment with your loves one before we regret. Regret means nothing at that time. I swear I will never forget her in my life.

Last but not least, Popo, I really miss you so so so much. 
I love you forever... 
Endless love...
Popo, thank you for being my best friend when I was small.
Your love is just can't be explained.
I miss you and love you forever...