Sunday, September 21, 2014

Groggy day

Slept around 3:30am last night, fell asleep half way reading journals.
Woke up around 1pm, feeling kinda groggy.

Then, fell asleep around 3:30pm till almost 5pm. -.- 
Feeling even more groggy. Zzz...

Then.........fell asleep AGAIN around 7pm+ till 8pm+.....
And, I AM STILL GROGGY. Meh. -.-

Feeling kinda demotivated with my studies. 
I don't know why and I know I'm not supposed to have this thought. 

Today whole day trying to concentrate on my work. 
Got no idea why I couldn't really focus at all.
Sitting in front lappie, open all files, read for N times also don't understand it.
Gahhhh. Seriously don't know what am I doing. T_T..

I guess it's time I shall prioritize my sleep first, then only work? 
Right? Right.
If only I can do so. -.-

But... But... But...
Like today, it seems that sleeping whole day long didn't really work for me...

Hmm, I guess it's not the matter of quantity, but quality.
I really need some peaceful sleep. =]

Oh ya....
Been reading Dayre recently, and this make me thought of creating an account too. 
 Should I? Hmmm...
Maybe I should. =]

I'm still feeling very groggy now.
I am sleepy. Very sleeeeepy.
ZzZZzZ.. T_________T..

Okay... I shall stop now and continue with my work.
Long long night for me again.
I hope I can focus... Keep fighting...
P/S: Uhh, Mr.Cough has been with me for me past 1 month+. Please stay far far away from me......  

Uhmm. Babaiiii.
Take care.
Nights people.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Love it or hate it - Rats Brain

Arghhhh. Damn stressed. 
Quiz tomorrow. About? About? About? 
Bet you can't guess it. 

Rats Brain. 
See, told you, you won't be able to guess it correctly.

My sis asked: Why print out the same thing for so many pages?
I answered: Now you know why I so stress. It looks so similar, but in fact it's different!

Been memorizing all those parts since this Wednesday. 
The more I try to memorize, the more I got confused. 
Seriously. Ughhhh.

Had a sample of the quiz in Tutorial class this Thursday. 
Surprisingly, I manage to answer all of it correctly. 
Happy? Yes, of course I'm happy. 
I told myself, I'm just lucky to get it right.
Uhmm well, maybe.... My hard work seems paid off. 

I spent whole freaking day from morning till night just to memorize 16 slides of the 4cm rats brain. 
No joking. 16 slides ONLY to me is like reading 1 whole textbook. -.-
Yes, it might sounds a bit too over. 
And my Science sucks anyway.

I don't understand why Psychology students need to take this subject.

So, you might think, why am I still so stress on it then? Since I've memorize all of it dy.
Yea, I wish so.
2 days ago, I just found out that we also have to memorize the "uploaded text-book" in e-learn. 
Then I was like.................... GG. 
Stress level elevate on the spot.

So, my original plan screw dy la of course.
My initial plan was to revise again the 16 slides of rats brain, do some correction for my thesis, read History textbook (Imma sucks at History also T_T) and so on....
Then now it become fully occupied by the "left-over rats brain info".

I hate when my plan didn't follow accordingly as what I've planned. :(

So, very obvious. This also means that my sleeping time back to abnormal again. 
Sleep with textbook and notes again.
Fall asleep unconsciously and even alarm can't wake me up.
My alarm snooze for like 2 hours also I can still sleep like a dead pig.
Honestly, people come and rob me also I don't know I guess. 

There's an internship fair tomorrow at Uni. 
I'm still not so sure where am I going to work at.
What type of job should I choose?

When I'm stress, I don't talk much.

Love it or hate it.
Dear rats brain, I really really really love you.
Please love me back.  

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Learned helplessness - To help or not to help?

Learned helplessness in another more simple term means learned NOT to help. For more detailed explanation, please click here. =]

Today's topic was inspired by a random conversation I had with Sifu this early morning. We started off with some random conversations where he said he saw an accident happened in a cross-junction; a car hit the motorcyclist (Malay) till the motor fly-up high to the traffic light height. The car didn't stop by and just drove away; hit-and-run incident. So, Sifu was just being helpful, he went down and help the person. BUT then he ended up almost got hit by few of the Malay guys *Imma not racist, but that was the truth* The reason is because they thought Sifu is the one who hit the Malay guy. Then, from that day onward, even he saw similar incident again, he choose not to help anymore.

Hmm, interesting fact. We wanted to help at most times, but somehow, the people / environment we lived in make us choose not to help. Not because we can't, but because we're just too afraid to help because we might get into trouble for no reasons.

So, why we learned NOT to help?

1. Due to past negative experiences. 

This is so true. Most of us learned from past experiences. Well, as a Psychology Degree student, we have tons of assignments need to do. T_T.. So one "top activity" we MUST do is to find participants to do our survey / experiment. So, I understand sometimes you might find me / us annoying. Lololol.

When friends asked: "Can you do me a favour and fill in the survey for me? Pleaseee?"
Me: Yes, sure. Here you go. :)

When I asked: "Can you do me a favour and fill in the survey for me? Pleaseee?"
Friends: Yes, sure. * response at all* -.-

2. Others don't want us to help them.

This happened all the time. We have big-heart and wanted to help the person so much, but the person ended up don't appreciate our help at all. Maybe for the first few times, you'll tell yourself, "It's okay, I'll try again next time..." But after trying, trying and trying..........for more than 10 times. One day, you'll get frustrated. We're all humans, we have our limit. No matter how patience are we, there are times you'll just get frustrated and choose to give up.

3. We only have limited time. 

Very true. Often we want to help, but we were just too busy with our own lives. Once I was asked to participate in a church event going to orphanage to help out. I wanted to go so badly, like reallllly. But I was just too busy with my studies at that time. So, in between studies and helping out, which should I choose?

I was struggling. I don't know which to choose.

4. Negative news from media. 

Well. I guess this had a big impact towards us. We often get hooked to the internet life. We get the latest and most updates news from social media like Facebook, Twitter and so on. News often portray that people help the victims, but ended up got cheated by the victim. It sounds funny, but that's just the truth.

Still remembered few years back, I saw an Indian guy and lady with 2 kids, waving her hands nearby the road side. I stop-by and they said their kid was having fever. They wanted to send their kid to the clinic, but they have no money and asked whether can I send them to the clinic.

In term of money wise, so sorry. My wallet normally only have few bucks left. Lol. And in terms of fetching them, I really wanted to do so. But, I was just too afraid to help them. I do not know their background; some more I'm alone and there's a guy there. Who knows what will they do to me? So, I ended up just left.

To be honest, there are times I really feel like choosing not to help even though I know I shouldn't do so. But still, after re-think, ended up I still choose to help. People said I'm stupid because always help others but ended up own-self get hurt.

Hmm, I don't know. One thing I always tell myself, help others as long as I'm capable to do so because God says so. And also, I believe that helping others make the person feels good, and I feel happy if I'm able to help. By this mean, helping here I don't mean helping with the intention of getting back any form of compensation. Help with a voluntary heart. Also I believe that we might need help too, what if you're in their shoes and no ones there to help you? How would you feel then?

Well. Reality is still reality....... Sometimes, we're stuck in a dilemma where we don't know what to choose between helping and not helping. I never say helping is easy because it requires time, effort, love, patience and so on. When I faced such dilemma, I'll pray to calm myself down. Listen to what His words are. And this verse just came across my mind.

Acts 20:35 
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said. "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Many people said study Psychology can earn a lot. You gonna be rich next time. But I told them, my main intention to study this field is because I wanted to help people. Then they give me a weird look. Hmm, it might sounds funny to some of you, but that's just what I like to do.

As for now, to be honest, money isn't my biggest attraction. Hmm, in the future, I don't know. And of course, I'm not saying money is not important, I do still need at least a minimum income in order to survive.

To help or not to help?

I choose to help.

Help with a voluntary heart.
"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Where is the old me?

They said I've changed. 
The old me has gone...
Then I started to wonder...

Sometimes, I love listening story about me, myself from others. Like telling me how much I've changed? What's their first impression about me? From how we know each other? What's good and bad about me? And so on....... 

Some people don't like others to say any bad things about them. For me, I kinda like people to tell me what's the bad side about me so that I can change to become a better one. Of course, here I doesn't mean anyone also can "criticize" me la. Lol. Hellllllo? Don't tell me you like someone who you're not close with tell you how bad you are when the person don't even know you well? Uhmm, doesn't make sense at all. 

So....... Get to meet them recently. Like finally... We get to spent some time with each other. We are all busy with our own things - studies and working life. It has been awhile since we get to sit down and have heart-to-heart chit-chatting.

With them, I can always be myself. And that's the reason why they told me they notice my changed. Lol. I sit down and listen quietly and as usual, think about it seriously.

Among these 6 years, they said I've changed. "I guess so?", I answered.

I didn't notice it that much until we talk about it. Or maybe I did, just that I'm in denial stage. Hmm.. A broken friendship has changed me. You never know how powerful it is; how someone can impact me so much. Don't judge... You don't know my story and even you know, you'll never know how the feeling is because you're not in my shoes.

So, I ask them, what had I actually changed? *Curiously wanna know it so badly. Lol.* And here's some conversation we had.
  • Not as cheerful as last time
They: Last time you always very cheerful one, now not so much dy.
Me: Where got? Most of my friends said I'm always happy-go-lucky.
They: You just pretend...
Me: *Keep quiet for awhile* Hmm, maybe.. Well, uhmm. Sometimes la. Not always what. Depends with who also la. Hmm..
They: You see.
  • From a very fast-respond person to a very-slow or even don't respond at all
They: How long will it take you to reply comments as compared to last time?
Me: Hmm, now longer, I guess.
They: Last time you will straight away reply all comments without really think about it. Now? Even though you receive it on the spot, you will reply very late. Or sometimes, you don't even reply.
Me: Hmmm...
  • Always share stories and now, not anymore
They: Last time, you always tell us your stories. After that incident, you rarely share. You keep things to yourself.
Me: Got share la... I got update you guys what.
They: You only share when you're about to burst lo.
Me: Hmm....
  • Talkative to not-so-talkative
They: Last time whenever we meet, you will always have a lot of things to tell us. You'll be very eager to tell us anything. Now? You'll just keep quiet.
Me: Hmm.. I...... I really don't know why. 
  • The way I reply comments
They: Try to look back at your past photos / conversations and see how you reply those comments.
Me: *Keep quiet again...* Ya, I actually notice it.
They: You always reply comments very fast without really think about it. Now? You'll think for long time then only you'll reply.
Me: *Quiet again...........* Hmm, I like to reply everyone's comments, but I'm just afraid..........
They: I miss the old you... Can the old you come back?

Then I randomly ask another question. Actually, what's the first impression of me to you guys?

Piggie one I knew it few years back. But if you're curious to know, I'll share it out. She told me the first impression about me is I'm a very quiet and weird person. -.- Because...........  I always play with my Instant-Dict during class. Also I don't really talk to people and always sit alone. -.-

And, this attracted her to talk to me first. When she told me this, I was like.... LOL. Thanks to my device and we should have a grand celebration with it. Because, without my device, we won't be so close like now... Lol? Hah. =]

Then my lover turn. She said....................
Lover: You like to smile. And I love your smile. :D
Me: Aww. I shall smile more. Lol. Heeeeeee. *Bright white shinning teeth.* =P

Lover, still love my smile or not? 
No, right?

It has been 3 years since then. It's definitely not a short period of time. I laughed, I cried. It's time to wake up and move on. =]

Thank you for those who understand me. You guys know what I like and what I don't like. You guys will initiate outing because you know I don't. You guys know I don't like / afraid people don't reply my messages, and most of the time, you guys will reply me *except for that piggie -.-* You guys know.......

Thank you for always being with me all the time; in good and bad days. I know who you are, and I know who I can rely to. :)

As time goes by, we all changed, either in good or bad ways. Meeting with different types of people. Different experiences. Different stages. Learn lessons from different places and people. We fall down and we get back up. That's called LIFE.

God doesn't promise us an easy life but He does promise He'll be with us no matter what we go through. We have an anchor in the storm.
Don't let the past steal your present. :)

A very meaningful video to share with all of you. This video made me cry. Never judge a book by its cover a.k.a never judge a person by its appearance.

P/S: Don't worry, I'm fine. Just a very random deep thoughts I had. And, it's 3am now. Need to wake up early tomorrow and I only have 3 hours+ left for me to sleep. Confirm will be a panda dy. Zzzz.. I shall sleep now. Lol. Babaiiii and nights people. :)

The old me has gone.
The old me. Where are you? =/

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Awesome trip with Uni gang @ JB - Part 1

As what I've promised, I shall now update about my trip. Away from home for around 3 weeks for this trip. *15 days with friends and 5 days with family continuously* Such a long holidays I had. The longest trip I had with my friends. Heh. :]

I'm still having my holidays now. 2 weeks+ before Year 3 Sem 2 starts, my final year before my internship. Ehem. So, for those who wanna date my out, please book me early. HAHAHAHA. Lol. =P

Hmm, I kinda lazy to write out every single details about the trip. Too many things. And...... I kinda forget some of the details. Meh. I wanted to note down during the trip. But...... I forgot. Zzzz. -.-

So, here's part 1. There're 5 of us - Ellie, Kek, Pevi, Dino and me. :)

I gonna write about the trip at JB first. Spent 4 days 3 nights at JB. Quite rush actually. Because............we book wrong flight ticket. How genius are we? LOL. We wanted to book August flight, but we ter-book July flight ticket. Thank God it was after our exam ended. Or else, we paid for nothing. Pheww. =/

As I've mentioned earlier, the day before our trip we went Sunway Lagoon with Uni mates. Ellie, Kek and Pevi came over and stay at my house. Had a lot of fun before sleeping. They make friends with my mom within less than an hour [o.O"] - Pakat with my mom to take out some of my luggage. Zzzz.. So, all of us sleep quite late even though we're dead tired. Lol.

The next day we gotta wake up early, around 5am - 5:30am cause we're taking the earliest bus to JB. So, can imagine how exhausted are we at that time? Nowadays youngsters.... Ehem. HAHAHA.

So, I gonna use pictures to represent all those details. And yes, for sure, I not gonna post all pictures. But I'll take the most amazing pictures la. Heh. Pictures timeeeeeee. :)

Day 1 [17-7-2014]

  • Inside the bus, from KL to JB
1, 2, 3, 4.... Someone is missing. HAHAHAHA. And Ellie, you cannot take nice nice picture one izzit? Your style...... Meh. >.>

We reached Bdr Tasik Selatan around 7:10am. Thanks my brader for waking up early and fetch us. Heh. Bought 8am ticket and bus ONLY depart 8:20am. Ehem. All of us sleep all the way to JB cause we only had 3 hours+ of sleep. Lol. Reached JB safely around 12:30pm. :)

  • Lunch (Don't know the place name -.-)
Had chicken rice as our lunch. Yummy. :) 

  • Visitation to condom factory
Pay a visit to condom factory. Thanks to Pevi. Nice experience though. Learn something new. Don't judge.... =]

  • Dessert time @ Happy Land Ice-Kacang

  • Walk around Johor Premium Outlet (JPO) while waiting Dino to arrive.
And then, within 30 minutes........... I bought this! Lol. Another new pair of shoes. Nike Air Max. =/ 

I would say, quite cheap laa. Err, original price RM599.90, after discount RM240. Price okayy, right? I wanted this since I saw it last year, but I already had one of it. So, I choose not to buy. The moment when I saw it, I was like.... OMG, if got my size I'll sure buy it. Then, lucky me, got my size, ONE PAIR ONLY. BAHAHAHA. Then called my mom - she says OKAY. Then DEAL. =P

You definitely can't get this price at KL shop. For those who want to buy cheap Nike shoes, not the newest edition of course, please pay a visit to JPO. Hee. =]

  • Dinner @ Ban Heong Seng Restaurant 万香城餐馆
 Learning how to pluck rambutan using stick. :]

From the left: Beggar Chicken 叫化鸡, Melon Soup 冬瓜盅, Country Fish 家乡鱼, Curry Prawn 加哩虾 & Tung Hoong 冬粉

Thank Kek's parents for treating us the dinner. :)
  • Yamcha @ Roost

The ambience and decoration at Roost. :)

Ellie with many different weird expressions. Lol. =]

Day 2 [18-7-2014] - Singapore. This will be in Part 2. Stay tuned.... :]

Day 3 [19-7-2014]
Before the day, we went Singapore for 1 day trip. It was fun but yet tiring. So, all of us sleep till noon. Amazinggggg. Lol.
  • Lunch @ Grill Bar

 Nice and well decorated ambiance. :)

  • Dessert time @ Headmost Cafe

Notice someone hand style? Ehem? Zzzz.. 

The environment quite nice, quite comfy. :)

The shop is well-designed with some cute paintings hanging on the wall. :) 

We ordered this - Premium Honey Toast @ RM28.90

Hmm, this was the famous dessert over there. We waited for quite some time for this. Personally think it looks nice, taste OK only. Nothing really special for me, just bread with ice-cream and some different toppings on it. It's huge, for sure 1 person can't finish it. So, please bring someone to share it with you. Lol. 

  • Tea-time @ Miyakori
Came here cause of bunny, Dino favourite. Heh. The shop is decorated with bunny, bear and frog, very cute. Even their beverages were designed too. :)

Poor bunny. Lol. 

Both of them can never take a proper picture. Lol. =]

 Hello, I'm Kek, promoting my phone. Wanna buy? Lol. XD

  • Had dinner at Pevi's house. Punjabi food. :)

Sunny day.
Selfie while going to Pevi house. :]

Thanks Pevi's mum for preparing all these food for us. It taste really good. Our first try - Punjabi food. Thank you so much. :)

Yummmmmmy~ :)

Finally, I'm done with Part 1. Editing photos make my eyes go nuts cause I got OCD in editing. Zzz.. Big half day gone. @@".. Not so sure whether I got the motivation to post Part 2, 3 and so on. Lol? Heeeeee.

Done with Part 1.
Stay tuned for the next update........ :]