Thursday, August 14, 2014

Where is the old me?

They said I've changed. 
The old me has gone...
Then I started to wonder...

Sometimes, I love listening story about me, myself from others. Like telling me how much I've changed? What's their first impression about me? From how we know each other? What's good and bad about me? And so on....... 

Some people don't like others to say any bad things about them. For me, I kinda like people to tell me what's the bad side about me so that I can change to become a better one. Of course, here I doesn't mean anyone also can "criticize" me la. Lol. Hellllllo? Don't tell me you like someone who you're not close with tell you how bad you are when the person don't even know you well? Uhmm, doesn't make sense at all. 

So....... Get to meet them recently. Like finally... We get to spent some time with each other. We are all busy with our own things - studies and working life. It has been awhile since we get to sit down and have heart-to-heart chit-chatting.

With them, I can always be myself. And that's the reason why they told me they notice my changed. Lol. I sit down and listen quietly and as usual, think about it seriously.

Among these 6 years, they said I've changed. "I guess so?", I answered.

I didn't notice it that much until we talk about it. Or maybe I did, just that I'm in denial stage. Hmm.. A broken friendship has changed me. You never know how powerful it is; how someone can impact me so much. Don't judge... You don't know my story and even you know, you'll never know how the feeling is because you're not in my shoes.

So, I ask them, what had I actually changed? *Curiously wanna know it so badly. Lol.* And here's some conversation we had.
  • Not as cheerful as last time
They: Last time you always very cheerful one, now not so much dy.
Me: Where got? Most of my friends said I'm always happy-go-lucky.
They: You just pretend...
Me: *Keep quiet for awhile* Hmm, maybe.. Well, uhmm. Sometimes la. Not always what. Depends with who also la. Hmm..
They: You see.
  • From a very fast-respond person to a very-slow or even don't respond at all
They: How long will it take you to reply comments as compared to last time?
Me: Hmm, now longer, I guess.
They: Last time you will straight away reply all comments without really think about it. Now? Even though you receive it on the spot, you will reply very late. Or sometimes, you don't even reply.
Me: Hmmm...
  • Always share stories and now, not anymore
They: Last time, you always tell us your stories. After that incident, you rarely share. You keep things to yourself.
Me: Got share la... I got update you guys what.
They: You only share when you're about to burst lo.
Me: Hmm....
  • Talkative to not-so-talkative
They: Last time whenever we meet, you will always have a lot of things to tell us. You'll be very eager to tell us anything. Now? You'll just keep quiet.
Me: Hmm.. I...... I really don't know why. 
  • The way I reply comments
They: Try to look back at your past photos / conversations and see how you reply those comments.
Me: *Keep quiet again...* Ya, I actually notice it.
They: You always reply comments very fast without really think about it. Now? You'll think for long time then only you'll reply.
Me: *Quiet again...........* Hmm, I like to reply everyone's comments, but I'm just afraid..........
They: I miss the old you... Can the old you come back?

Then I randomly ask another question. Actually, what's the first impression of me to you guys?

Piggie one I knew it few years back. But if you're curious to know, I'll share it out. She told me the first impression about me is I'm a very quiet and weird person. -.- Because...........  I always play with my Instant-Dict during class. Also I don't really talk to people and always sit alone. -.-

And, this attracted her to talk to me first. When she told me this, I was like.... LOL. Thanks to my device and we should have a grand celebration with it. Because, without my device, we won't be so close like now... Lol? Hah. =]

Then my lover turn. She said....................
Lover: You like to smile. And I love your smile. :D
Me: Aww. I shall smile more. Lol. Heeeeeee. *Bright white shinning teeth.* =P

Lover, still love my smile or not? 
No, right?

It has been 3 years since then. It's definitely not a short period of time. I laughed, I cried. It's time to wake up and move on. =]

Thank you for those who understand me. You guys know what I like and what I don't like. You guys will initiate outing because you know I don't. You guys know I don't like / afraid people don't reply my messages, and most of the time, you guys will reply me *except for that piggie -.-* You guys know.......

Thank you for always being with me all the time; in good and bad days. I know who you are, and I know who I can rely to. :)

As time goes by, we all changed, either in good or bad ways. Meeting with different types of people. Different experiences. Different stages. Learn lessons from different places and people. We fall down and we get back up. That's called LIFE.

God doesn't promise us an easy life but He does promise He'll be with us no matter what we go through. We have an anchor in the storm.
Don't let the past steal your present. :)

A very meaningful video to share with all of you. This video made me cry. Never judge a book by its cover a.k.a never judge a person by its appearance.

P/S: Don't worry, I'm fine. Just a very random deep thoughts I had. And, it's 3am now. Need to wake up early tomorrow and I only have 3 hours+ left for me to sleep. Confirm will be a panda dy. Zzzz.. I shall sleep now. Lol. Babaiiii and nights people. :)

The old me has gone.
The old me. Where are you? =/

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