It has been really quite sometimes, the PAST which really make me fall into a dilemma. I always try to escape from the reality. Just because I scare. Yes, I scare, I'm afraid of THAT will happened to me once again. I always told myself.. Nothing, nothing, it's all past.... But be frank, did I really think so? Or it was just a lied towards myself? Hmmmm....
It seems that I really take THAT into matters? Yes, I really do. Towards some people, maybe you might think that it was just a small case. But for me, it wasn't. It's always easy to forgive than forget. It has been months and months, and until now, I still afraid THAT will happened to me once again. I just really afraid of those feeling being ignore. And of course, I hate it too. =(
Have you ever feel before a person that you're close to, which you can tell him or her everything, tend to changed to become a stranger? The way we trust, we speak, we smile, we talk is totally different from last time. How would you think this as? Normal? But for me, it was a scary nightmare... I seriously feel scare and I did cry because of this reason for tons of time.
If you ask me reason why I did so. I can tell you is because just I care. I just care too much sometimes and it make me don't even know what I really want... I got no courage to ask, but I wanted to know. I feel sad and cry, but I don't even know why I did so. Hilarious huh? =]
You might think so.. But you will not understand what my feeling is until you know how to care a person who is important to you. When you care someone who is really important towards you, and that person tend to change to become another person, the feeling is just so HURT. It just can't be describe and at that moment, you will felt that in this world, you're the only one left.
When you did so much to appreciate someone, make him or her happy, but that person don't even know how to appreciate you. What would you feel at that moment? It does not really matter whether it's towards a relationships or friendship. Both is just the same. The feeling do really hurt if it really happened...
Human mind are always funny. When you treat them good, they will always think that you're trying to take advantages from them. Why don't they think another way? Why can't they think that others treat them good is because they appreciate you as their partners? Isn't it's a better way to think so? Your partners happy, and you also happy. Both parties also benefits.
Think twice and wise before you act. Don't always tend to do it and regret it later. Sorry for 1 time, 2 times, 3 times.. So what? The relationship has changed at that time. It wasn't as stable as those time. At that moment, SORRY means nothing....
I always did something funny or crazy doesn't mean that I'm abnormal.
I always joke around doesn't mean that I love to joke.
I always care people not because I wanna let others know that I'm a good friend.
But.......................just because I want everyone around me happy. Especially to those I care.
I specially wrote this passage to my friends who read my blog. Especially towards those who really close with me. I'm not a person who really know how to say out what my heart think. It's really hard for me to say it out. I always tend to hide my weaknesses because I don't want you guys to worried me.
I know how much you guys care about me. And I sincerely wanna say million of thanks to all of you. Without you guys, my life seems to be meaningless. You guys gave me a lot of happiness. I miss all the time we hang out together since the first day we met each other till now.
I rather lose something else also don't wanna lose our friendship. =D
Happy 21st Birthday to Chee Ching a.k.a Darling..
Wish you always happy and all the best in your future! =D
Many happy returns! ♥
Back to the old days...
Thank you for everything...
You guys rocks! =D