Holidays started. And I'm trying to find something for myself to do. Whatever things that can occupied my time with. Sometimes, when I got too much time, I tend to think too much. Just too much I guess? I started to realized how human act, their attitude, their mindset. It seems to be scary and some people are just tend to be so fake. Yea, this was just reality.. =]
My mood turn bad since last week. And till today, it still seems that I'm still having it now. Hmm, still a little bit I guess. And mummy said, don't let others know too much of your own things. Such as thinking, personality, weaknesses and blah blah blah...
And somehow, I felt that it was so true now. When others knew you too much, they tend to act and pretend, and take advantages from you. This is reality. Quote from one of my friend, "Be good to others equal treat yourself cruel".
- Sometimes, when you tend to protect yourself, you need to be selfish.
- Sometimes, when you tolerate too much. You need to be real tough and force to change yourself into another person. Changed to become not always a
WHATEVERperson. *I'm learning this*
- Sometimes, lying in a good way which doesn't harm others or yourself seems to be a good choice. So that others won't easily attack you. And this can be a protection for yourself too.
- Sometimes, you have to learn to be mature, try not to believe every single word that others said. Think carefully before you replied. Your replied might let others to take advantages from you.
- Sometimes, learn to become a little naive. I like this somehow, because these were where you can tend to pretend not to know anything. So that you can get out from the danger? Hmmmm....
- Sometimes, you need to learn to become independent. Lose something, but yet, you did gain something too. Remember, you live for yourself, but not for others.
I can't understand human attitude and mind sometimes. It's really hard to please everyone. Yea, it was just so hard. When you tend to become a good person, they think that you're acting good. On the other hand, when you tend to become a bad person, they don't like the way you act. Hah! Funny, right? This is human mind.. It's just scary...
I'm tired with everything. I feel like wanna disappear for sometimes, so that I can have my own time to think what should I do. Can you imagine that this also tend to appeared in my dream? It does happened for not only once, but yet, TWICE. It was just so scary. You might say, you must be joking right?! And I'm gonna say. Noooo, I'm NOT.
It seems that I really get out of control this time. This is just not-so-me. Don't ask me why, because I don't know as well. Bye.
I don't really mind what others think of me.
Whether am I ugly, fat, short or what-so-ever..
Because I live for myself, not for others.
God, I'm exhausted..
I wanna be myself..