Saturday, October 2, 2010

I just want you to be happy...

Please don’t moody anymore. You’re my friend, and I really feel sad when I see you like this. :(

I really don't know what happened. And I know even I knew, I can't help you too. But please don't keep everything to yourself. Try to express it to anyone that you feel you can trust. Although the person might not help you, but surely in mentally, it definitely will help you feels better.

I experienced this before, and I know how it feels. It was like in this world, no one understands you. And at that moment, you just wanna be alone. Right? Things will not go smoothly like what you want. There’s always failure happens. But so what? At least you tried.

Well, be fair. You always ask me why am I moody. And I always say nothing. The answer is I'm kept thinking about the past. I still can't let go the past. I knew you know what I meant. Friends to me are really important. I have no idea how to express it out. I don't want you guys to worry me and so as you too.

I’m trying real hard to forget about the past. You asked me before- Why wanna do things that hurt myself? Why kept look at their profile? Why, why and why? Very stupid, right? And…. I did not even replied your message that day. Sorry.

I'm just too concerned about the past. I knew it was past. Why should I concern about those who don't even concern about me. Like what you said, I have you guys. "They is PAST. YOU ALL is CURRENT and NOW." 

And now, I guess I'm much better than last time. You have no idea what will I do in the past with this case. Yes, you don't know! And now I'm becoming better and better. And it's all because you guys gave me courage! Always stay with me when I felt that the world are like gonna end soon.

Well, I admit that I still can’t 100% forget about that case because it really hurts. No one can understand those feeling. Yes, NO ONE! But I really doing my very best now. I’m NOT trying, but I’m DOING! No one can help us except we help ourselves first.

When both of us asking each other, we'll say nothing. But it was not. Reason we say so is because we don't want each other to worry about each other. Right?

Be frank, this is not the way is supposed to be. True friends should be honest to each other. For my case, I did not explain, because it was "that case". You knew it earlier. And sincerely I wanna thanks you guys for always being together with me. But for yours, it was different. I totally have no idea about what's happening.

I sms you just now and you said you're just frustrated with small kids. And I know it was not true. You're moody since few days ago. Yea, you can joke and laugh in front of us. Sounds happy right? But the fact is, YOU'RE NOT! You’re just the same with me; the only difference is I’m transparent like what you always said, whereas you’re not really like me. But yet, I still can feel it.

I told you I'm not that blur. I knew it, but just that I don't know how to ask you. “R”, please be honest. I know you’re not happy. We’re friends since 2 years ago. And I really can feel that you’re not happy. I doesn’t meant that I 100% understand you, but for sure, I do understand you more than others I guess.

You need not need to reply my message if you want. I wrote this is not because I want you to feel that I’m the greatest friend among all your friends. I just care and concern about you because you’re my friend. I just want you to be happy...

From strangers till we become friends. And from friends till we become best friends. It’s really not an easy process to go through. “R”, trust me. Even how worst the situation is, I will always be with you.

Take care.
  I want nothing now...
I just want you to be happy...
Promised me you'll do it... PLEASE...

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